Yesterday I turned 49. It really was a great day. Low key. Late afternoon nap. Lots of calls and birthday wishes from friends and family all over the country and from all different times in my long, middle aged life :-).
Today feels like the day after Christmas. The eye opening day after the celebration that those bills will need to be paid and you need to go back to work. The day when gifts are exchanged and no one is saying Merry Christmas anymore. In my case, it was Happy Birthday.
This feeling was prompted by a trip to Target with my youngest daughter. As we were walking through the parking lot which has a slight uphill grade, I got to the door and was out of breath. Not completely, but enough to remind me I've blown off physical activity for a while and I am further behind in my marathon goal now just 15 months away.
Here are my words on my first walk back.....
On my way back to my home, I actually saw myself in downtown Chicago, finishing the marathon at the last mile. Amy is there. It is dark which means we didn't make it in the time limit but are still going. I see my son, and then my daughters and finally Matt jump out and finish the last half mile with me. I saw myself crossing the finish line. Exhausted. In my sister's arms. Bawling. Done.
This image brought tears to my eyes because I saw myself doing it. Not just saying I'm going to do it but actually doing it. I saw the months and months of transformation have a release in tears.
This morning's walk was good and so very hard because I really do hate this. I really resist and do hate this hard hard work of transformation because it brings up the many many sides of me I hate to look at. But I think I've finally matured enough to not try and get out of it, but realize I'm not going to get any better if I keep blowing off opportunities to grow.
So I'm keep a video blog. Each week.
Here I go... again... :-)
