What? Did that actually come out of my mouth? It did. And now I'm stuck.
I told my seventh grade daughter whom I am homeschooling this year that one of the PE requirements is to be able to run the mile non-stop. She said, "No problem." Not convinced of her ability, I gave her another incentive. Competition. If there's one thing Cosette lives for is to prove her mother wrong.
"I can't run a mile", I said.
"Humph", she grunted. "Well, you'll have to come out there with me."
Not to be outdone by my strong, competitive daughter, I said these stupid, idiotic words...
"Ok, then I am going to run a 5K, a 10K, a half-marathon between now and my 50th birthday, then the Chicago Marathon the year I turn 50". (What?!?! Someone is feeling the manic side of my bi-polarism, if I was bipolar. Maybe I am? I'm so confused)
"Ok", Cosette said, unimpressed.
"Ok", I said, smugly. Terrified inside, but not letting HER know that.
Nice, impressive, movie of the week, inspiring goal, right? WRONG!
Did I forget that I haven't run in over 8 years since I did my first and last and ONLY half marathon? Did I forget that I am now weighted at over 200 pounds with a crappy right knee with 2 ACL repairs?
Did I forget that I often get so inspired and set these goals and never finish them?
Did I forget that I now live in North Dakota with it's terrifying winter right around the corner leading me to increased couch potato status?
Did I forget that I am 48? Non-athletic? Short legged? Prone to depression and not the greatest on finishing these types of goals?
Did I forget? Yes. But at that moment, it didn't matter. I know these questions I forgot at will become VERY relevant to me soon, but at that moment, when I made that challenge to myself, they didn't matter.
What did matter was I needed a goal. A goal for me. One that would push me beyond myself and into places. This was going to be it.....
This will be my Julie and Julia project. I will journal through this journey and it will end in October 2016 at the Chicago Marathon.
I may be thinner (Gosh, I hope so!)
I may be healthier.
I may not have any toenails.
I may lose my mind.
Or, I may rediscover it.
This I know. I'll be standing at the finish line that October day, Lord willing, and it will be party day. Celebration of completing this journey these next two years. I don't have any idea of who I will be. I don't have any idea of all that will happen. But I'm signing up for it.
I'm asking God to use this goal to do what He wants in me. More on that later. :-)))
But for today, this is my plan.
I'm insane.....
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